The Bad Habit of Emailing and Texting During a Conversation.
Something has changed dramatically about the way we communicate: we don't talk to one another. We text, tweet, "like", and comment as an alternative to speaking and listening. Why speak when we can merely type? Professionally, we email rather than go through the emotional rollercoaster of having a dialogue with clients, colleagues, or adversaries. My favorite is leaving a voicemail message for someone and receiving an email reply asking "what's up?" Genius!
Fans of email boast that it permits them to multitask. However, emailing while you are with another person, is, at best, rude and worse, demeaning since you are letting the person know that they are unworthy of your full, undivided attention. Behaving in such a manner around a client means you aren't interested in working for your client.
Using social media and smart phones has become an obsession. Have you ever watched somebody light a cigarette and then another smoker immediately follows suit? Monkey see: monkey do. Next time you are out, watch your friend or colleague check her blackberry. You invariably will do the same thing. It ends the conversation. You stop talking. Bad habit, you should quit.
Failing to watch and listen during a conversation means you cannot communicate effectively. One study conducted at UCLA suggested that 93% of effective communication between people is dictated by nonverbal cues. What is lost is the credibility of the speaker. Particularly for litigators, we can't evaluate the sincerity of our client and belief in her case. We need non-verbal cues, such as posture and facial expression, to get a sense of whether our client will make a good witness. Similarly, if we are texting, tweeting, or sending an email, we are not talking or listening to the person in front of us. Voice and tone are tremendously important in evaluating a speaker for honesty and candor. Our loved ones and colleagues may have more tolerance for our multiple interests, however, our clients are not paying us to be distracted and inattentive.
Turn your smart phone, blackberry, i-pad off and pay attention to the person or client in front of you. Kick the habit.
Comments (9)
Read through and enter the discussion by using the form at the endchris - August 29, 2011 9:58 AM
"Well said, Mr. Hunt!"
- Sent from my iPad
Tony Bocchino - August 29, 2011 10:54 AM
In addition to being rude, ineffective and lazy, email and text messaging have the additional problem of being composed without much thought. I have consulted on numerous cases where part of every discovery in what we call the "text mess" wherein these messages. sent without thought, much less spell-check become part of the "record" on which cases are decided. People will write in a text or e-mail things they would never say in a letter on put in a company business record, but at trial or other form of dispute resolution, these communications frequently carry the same weight as communications that have been prepared with care and with the intention that they become part of a "transaction" between individuals or entities.
Donna Adams - August 29, 2011 11:13 AM
Great article Hayes. It made me think of another bad habit that I have come across frequently - the use of "text-speak" in professional emails. Trying to decipher the meanings of abbreviations in emails can be frustrating.
Marsha Hunter - August 30, 2011 4:02 AM
Oh, what a tangled text we weave. My favorite: a senior partner at an in-house trial skills program, texting an associate to put down her Blackberry and listen to what was happening in the session.
Greg Varallo - August 30, 2011 8:47 AM
AMEN!
Harris Chernow - August 30, 2011 10:16 AM
I distinctly recall years ago (when BlackBerries (I guess at one time I would have had to say the phone and not the fruit!) were first coming out) being in a very important client meeting where a person took out his blackberry and started using it to read and send emails. One of the more senior people in the room immediately went silent, no one knew at first what was wrong – then he spoke – by leaving the room and stating that he will come back when everyone is prepared to pay attention to the meeting at hand and are not using cell phones during the meeting. At the time, when only say 1 out of 5 had a BlackBerry, most in the room thought yes, how could the person with the Blackberry be so rude. I wonder today whether the person who left the room has a BlackBerry and would he respond the same way. I would hope so, but it is an unfortunate reality that people can’t seem to put down their devices for even 5 minutes. I must say that when I am in a meeting and I turn the berry to vibrate, there does remain a desire to reach for the phone – but most of the time I don’t. But, when I do, I do get a feeling of being rude and immediately stop - and remember the meeting from years ago.
Howard Close - August 30, 2011 11:36 AM
Excellent article. I sent it around to all my young lawyers. I stopped bringing a laptop into the Courtroom during trial years ago.. too distracting and too risky that the jury may believe you don't care about what the witnesses are saying. Read emails on a break.
Joseph Ferry - September 1, 2011 9:02 AM
Many years ago, Jay Leffler and I tried a case in front of Judge Lederer. After he dismissed the jury for lunch, he called counsel up for a short conference. There was a table between us and the judge that had a telephone on it. The Court Reporter came over, picked up the phone and began dialing.
Judge Lederer, who was surpassingly polite, asked her if she would mind waiting until we had finished our conversation. Acting somewhat surprised, the reporter said "Oh, sure" and left us alone.
After she departed, Judge Lederer shook his head resignedly and allowed "I grew up in a different world."
Rudeness. It's not just for the clueless anymore!
Neil - September 19, 2011 3:18 PM
I just read that a study found 31% of adults prefer to be reached by text message rather than a voice call on their mobile phone:
http://androidaftermarket.com/featured/31-of-u-s-adults-prefer-to-be-reached-by-text-message-study.aamk